Moving on after divorce is harder than it looks. You may still think about the emotional investments you made into that relationship that could make you feel down for quite some time. It is correct that you have actually earned the right to feel down for quite a bit but you have to be able to bounce back into life at some point in time. What had happened is not easy for you or your kids and for those other people who are also involved in what you are going through. That is why when you are able to feel better about yourself and ready to meet other people the hardest thing is telling your kids about how you are feeling and what you intend to do.
This is a very aware issue no matter how old your children may be. They may be young or young adults but still the same amount of kindliness and care should be there when you decide to tell them you want to start dating again.
Love Them And Love Yourself
Your children are smarter than what you think. They can tell if you are happy or if your are in pain, emotionally. After what they have been through, they are more smarter now. That is why it is best that you let them know that you are doing much better than before. Show them how happy you are to have them as your children. Show them that you can still care for them even if you are not together with their dad. They look up to their parents as people who are strong, people they can depend on. Therefore, showing them that you are happy and contented even without a man in your life will give them security that if indeed you find someone you’ll be able to take care of yourself and not be in the same situation that you were in during the divorce.
Divorce is a critical concern. It is easily understood that you’ve got a lot going in your mind. But you have to find it in your heart to think not only of how you are feeling right now but also what your children are feeling. Even if you do not feel that you are going to get over this, you have to confess that at some point in your life you will get over this and somehow manage to move on. Start bonding with your kids as early as now. Make them feel loved and important. Make them feel they are part of your life. This will make them feel safe, secured and loved. So when the time eventually comes that you will tell them you are ready to go out and meet other people grouchiness will be far from their minds.
Don’t Until You Are Sure
It would be very demanding for everyone involved, especially you and the children to introduce them to every guy that you date. It is best just to let them know that you are going out with friends every once in a while. But introduce them to the person you are already having a serious to casual interplay with. Take your time and make sure that you pick the right time for your kids to introduce the guy you are currently seeing seriously.
Having the talk with your kid is effective. Be sure that before you do anything, have ”the talk” with your kids. Explain to them that you are going to be seeing friends soon but it doesn’t mean that they are not important anymore and if they do not agree with what you are planning they should say so you’ll be able to answer their concerns. Let them know that you are not looking for somebody to replace their dad or anything like that. Make them understand that whatever it is that you’ll be doing they will always be on the loop.
Moving on can be difficult but you need to bounce back. Be genuine with yourself, your children and with other people around. Be frank and be very careful about your conduct when dating again. It may be a harsh reality but you have now kids to think about. A good clean fun is always good and doesn’t give you a lot of things that you would be sorry later on.